One year ago today. I awoke in my new apartment, I had moved in with my roommate two weeks prior, just gotten everything in place, pictures up, flowers on the table, boxes unpacked. We spent the morning drinking coffee on the balcony in the sun talking. We were making a to do list since we just moved in and we were both working full time. On that list was renters insurance. It was a holiday for us, Labor Day, we were relaxing. I’ve never written publicly about this before. Part of my healing process.
I am deathly allergic to cats. I decided I wanted to watch a movie on Labor Day in my room with the door shut because of the cat, the cat was never allowed in bedroom.
All of a sudden we hear a huge crash, my roommate goes to see what the noise is, he comes bursting into the room, screaming our porch was on fire. I jumped out of bed and ran directly to the red fire extinguisher hung in kitchen, the living room was flooded with smoke, I started choking immediately, the noise we heard was the glass patio door exploding from fire, the fire was coming in apartment. I handed him the red fire extinguisher and screamed,”pull pin”, he did. He used everything in the fire extinguisher, He burned himself badly on his hands fighting the fire. The fire was too out of control to put out and the smoke was too bad in apartment. We ran out to my car in parking lot. Gasping for air and choking from the smoke.
My roommate had a cat. Outside on the balcony by the trash can was a climbing tree for the cat made of very flammable material. My roommate had tossed his lit cigarette into the trash can starting that on fire, that caught this flammable cat tower on fire starting the porch fire. There was an ash tray on the balcony to put his cigarette out in. To this day I cannot understand how any human would take fire and put it in a trash can! I did not know this information on Labor Day, during fire, it wasn’t until after I spoke to fire examiner many days following the fire.
I watched in total shock as my apartment burned,along with the entire apartment community and the news. I looked down to see my roommates fingers swollen like a huge balloon from the burn. We were not speaking. We were shaking in trauma. A woman came up to me and told me to contact American Red Cross. I heard her but was in a state of complete shock and disbelief. Then the fire department came and soaked everything. That was the last time I ever saw thirty years of things I’ve collected all over the world. My clothes, shoes, paperwork, furniture, documentation, my children’s things and photographs, everything. The fire department gave me my glasses, phone and my purse that was burned from fire, the clothes on my back, That’s it. The apartment complex and fire examiner would be in contact. We were not allowed back in apartment to see damage due to asbestos. The trauma from that day lives in me like it was yesterday.
We stayed in a motel that night, too traumatized to sleep or talk, we reeked of smoke from the fire. We had no clothes, nothing to shower with. My roommate and I tried to deal with his injuries at motel that night because an ambulance never came to fire only fire department. His hand was badly burned and hurt. He never said anything to anyone. I noticed it but couldn’t deal with it in that moment. We were handed my roommates cat, the fire department found hiding to escape the fire. The cat was freaking out and we had to deal with that. Thank God someone from the complex gave us a pet carrier so I could drive. The cat was traumatized along with us that night in a creepy motel room. We needed to find this cat a home now too.
We needed help bad. I called American Red Cross the next day and they came to us at motel. They gave us money and tons of needed toiletries. Life saving. I got my roommate to hospital to get his burns dealt with. We went shopping for clothes. We could at least shower now! A friend of ours let us stay at their apartment till we could things more figured out. We found a home for the cat. Our friends and coworkers helped us a lot at this time with money and clothes.
Following the fire and finding out the cause of the fire destroyed a friendship forever with my roommate. It also affected relationships with friends who were helping knowing it was his fault after fire examiner released how and why of fire. . There was an ashtray on the balcony so that this would never happen. It makes sense to no one why he would throw lit cigarettes in a trash can. I didn’t have renters insurance yet. Even though my roommate gave me a sworn statement he started fire accidentally, it didn’t matter I was on the lease, the apartment complex gave us both a bill of 250,000$ in fire damage.
I filed bankruptcy due to this fire, it was just completed four days ago, which is amazing it’s so close to year anniversary of fire. I’m not paying for a fire I never started and destroyed my life. That feels like a huge weight off my chest. Its completion. It’s starting over. It’s also difficult. I have to buy everything. I have to get every document. My credit is shit for some time. It does cause some restrictions. I can’t replace a ton of sentimental things I lost.
Last weekend my boyfriend took me shopping. I got some new fall gear and shoes. He has helped me start over in huge ways with getting new things I need. He is a huge support to me moving on in life.
My new puppy Atari is why I get up in the morning. He has helped me a ton on my healing journey. The fire also taught me I don’t need as much materially. I’m older. Starting over is hard. It takes a lot of will. Because of this fire I moved to another state with my boyfriend away from my family. That’s super hard. Everyday stronger. One day at a time is all we can do.
Namaste
Shauna Kai 