astrology, consciousness

New Moon In Leo: Intensified By The Lion’s Gate Energy Portal

Today is the new moon in Leo and the Lion’s Gate energy portal is open. Every year on the eighth day of the eighth month this energy portal opens.

This new moon wants you to dive deeper into what your heart needs from you right now,” says Madi Murphy, co-founder of The Cosmic RX and The Cosmic Revolution. “For thousands of years, this has been observed and honored as a time of a great energetic influx and activation,” Murphy says. “This Lions gateway is marked by an alignment between the Earth and the star Sirius (the brightest star we can see). As Sirius rises in the sky, Orion’s Belt directly aligns with the Pyramid of Giza, and from our perspective on Earth, it appears that Sirius comes closer to the Earth.” Murphy says this is a time of “increased cosmic energy flowing between the physical and spiritual realms,” and that it’s a good time to manifest, set intentions, and connect with your Higher Self.

With the new moon in Leo, Uranus and Saturn are square. Today as I was doing my intentions for the new moon I had a instinct to get rid of or end with my intentions. The reason for this is, the benefit of this square pairing is endings not sowing new beginnings. Learning what to let go of is key in this energy. This is intense energy right now. It’s normal to feel scattered and anxious with Uranus energy. It’s a shakeup to help us respond to endings that need to happen.

The focus we need to have with the Leo new moon energy is to focus on ourselves with the love and compassion Leo gives others. Part of self love is letting go of bad habits, relationships and jobs that aren’t good for us.


consciousness, evolving, healing, love

A long journey home

Home. What is home? Is it people? Is it a house? Is it a feeling? A destination?

Aging is interesting. Interpretation changes so much as we climb the ladder in years. The mirror we look into reflects deep lines, illuminating the expressions we have used over the years past. Gravity is no longer our friend. Weights now are a priority to fit into your skin. Plastic surgery and Botox now seem to be thought. Grey highlights are now the new natural hair color if we choose to keep that. If you are like me, you wonder where time went? I still feel like a teenager in my mind.

Accumulating experiences on this thing we call life to make our decisions. Do we make those choices because we are scared of what happened along the way? We will protect at all costs? Do we learn from our mistakes and move on? Do we go to therapy and attempt to reconcile our trauma? To live is to be traumatized. It is proven that when we experience trauma it sticks like Velcro to our brains. We received a message from that trauma that debilitated our ability to move on. To understand that and put in a new message is life saving.

Home. I’m going to go Buddha on you. When we are living life because of expectations, it creates suffering. Why? We aren’t in the moment when we are living in expectations. That’s about outcomes. I feel a lot of my suffering ended when I quit asking why? I started to ask what I’m learning in this experience? How is this developing me as a human? I’m happier in my intimate relationship because I don’t have expectations. I also keep that relationship private. We don’t live in the future. We live in today. I realized a ton of suffering I’ve experienced in relationships is because of expectations.

The hardest thing I’ve learned in this life is being alone. I’ve learned that my self talk has destroyed me and saved me. I’ve learned to honor my energy. When I’m tired I rest. When I have energy do things, I accomplish more than I thought I could. I learned to meditate. It is proven your thoughts slow down when you practice meditation. Experiencing life in your brain is not the same as being in the moment. It creates stress to live in the future in scenarios that may never happen. It creates depression to live in the past. When we meditate, we don’t let monkey brain run the show. We dismiss the thought and focus on breathe and emotions coming up to feel them and release them. It helps us to stay in our bodies and the moment.

All of COVID I have been in the food industry. I still am. I am so grateful for the ability to stay in the moment because we are so busy right now. Waves come at you when you are cooking that you never think you can possibly achieve. And then you do. Everyday. Physically I’ve never been so tired. I love the adrenaline. I really like to cook and connect with food. Home isn’t where I’m working I’ve realized. It’s my journey in a new career as a chef.

Home is in me. No matter where I live, I create the people that feel like home. Home isn’t a house to me. Home is where I’m always loved and that’s where I finally reside within. No matter the circumstances, the peace home creates I’ve looked for is within me.


consciousness, light body, ascension, spiritual awakening, spiritual awakening, kundalini

The path of least resistance

The ascension process can be difficult. Our DNA is changing. Our bodies are being completely changed to travel to another dimension. It is the death of our ego making this possible. Our ego wants control at all times. We are being fully purged to find every form of separation within us. Our karma is also being released in this process as we cannot go to the new earth with karma. What I’m finding it is the resistance is what is most difficult. Resistance however is separation too.

Insomnia is now part of my life. I’ve been pretty not accepting of it. That’s really been the toughest thing for me. I love to dream. I’m realizing that it’s the acceptance that this is what my body is going through, is the answer. Fear is what I’m constantly dealing with in my not sleeping. Fear is separation. It’s accepting fear too, to release it fully from the body to become one with source. In 3D fear is a huge component to our existence. I don’t think it’s something small we are releasing with fear. Trusting no matter how little sleep I got, source will care for me. Surrendering to the process. Acceptance.

It’s interesting that if I follow my intuition in the process, that’s where it’s at. I became completely vegetarian during this process, my fluids are more important than anything else I’m consuming. I drink tons of vegetable broth,soups,non-caffeinated teas and seem to need sodium more now. I gave up sugar too. I have no desire for it. It makes sense with the education of the carbon body becoming the crystalline body. It’s truly learning to trust ourselves and source in this process.

I quit marijuana on this journey too. I smoked marijuana for ten years. With really no effort, I attained this. The desire is gone. Marijuana actually didn’t work ,I didn’t feel high or stoned because what I was experiencing in my own natural body was more intense than the actual high. It was also not resistance to any of it. It is done. Listening to Darryl Anka who channels a being named Bashar was really helpful,that if we want something, we don’t try, we do. It is done. That is how we attain if we want something. Visualization, it is done.

Meditation with 528 hertz music has been so incredible to heal. 528 hertz is the frequency of the sun, love and nature. I’m finding on this journey that sound healing is part of it. Meditation is a huge part of us releasing feelings.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude all the time. Really seeing the provision of the Universe in what we really need. Being so thankful and filled with gratitude for everything we receive. When I am feeling resistance, I start applying gratitude. With not sleeping right now, I thank the Universe for the work that must be done when I feel like groaning.

Lastly, releasing karma. Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian healing technique, that is the greatest thing I ever found with forgiveness. It is four sentences. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. This opened the greatest energetic space, I’ve ever experienced. I believe Jesus came to teach forgiveness to remove us from the karmic wheel. That however was not what was communicated in the dogma his message became. We cannot move to another dimension with karma, unforgiveness, anger, hatred. Those are aspects of separation. I love this technique of Ho’oponopono because you don’t have to talk to anyone you need to forgive, you just apply it. Sometimes we can’t speak to someone because they have died. It’s interesting too when we apply this technique, it can shift our reality around us and the people we are struggling with. Problems completely shift. Energy is everything.

Namaste 🙏

covid19, dreams, education for the mind, accessing the subconcious,, evolving, healing, spiritual awakening

Dreams and the subconscious

Collectively I’ve read, we have all been experiencing deeper rapid eye movement sleep during quarantine, this is when we are dreaming. Lot’s of people have shared their dreams are influenced by fear of the Covid 19 virus and it’s impact upon us individually. The distance between us this virus is creating or literally contracting the virus somehow.

The subconscious mind is always at work. When we go to sleep, the conscious mind is what is asleep. We store every experience in our lives in our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind has homeostatic impulse. It keeps our body regulating at 98.6. degrees Fahrenheit. It controls our heartbeat and breathing. When we are told we only use a certain percentage of our brain, this is the conscious brain. Our subconscious mind holds every memory and experience.

Carl Jung is most known for his work around the subconscious and dreams being symbols. When we are able to dream and allow this process of the subconscious to do its work, we are allowing healing. The symbols we dream help us understand or work through issues we are having. Dreams also bring awareness to issues or needs we have to resolve.

Meditation also allows the subconscious to be at play. When we slow down our breathing, we are in sync with our breathing, which is what we are doing in meditation, we access the subconscious. This is where we can access deep emotions, traumas or things we need to help ourselves. When emotions are surfacing during meditation we breathe in and feel those emotions to the core and release them. Many times it’s helpful to name the feeling but release the emotion. Fear is a very common feeling when meditating. I personally spent two years feeling fear every time I went into meditation. It’s the subconscious releasing this.

Certain trauma therapies and hypnosis access our subconscious. Writing accesses the subconscious or journaling. Dreams is what we use mostly to interact with our subconscious mind. A helpful thing to do is journal right when we awake about the dreams we had. This provides us the ability to remember the dream right away before our conscious mind takes over. This also allows for the dream interpretation. Dreams are individual to humans in what the interpretation is. If we spend time with our dream interpretation, we access the ability to heal some deep wounds. Combining this with meditation is very powerful to feel the emotions that the subconscious is bringing to light.

Energy is always about intention. I’ve recently started putting intention before I go to sleep to recall things in my subconscious that I most need to address and heal. I’m in a personal place of deep healing. I have to say that it’s definitely working. I’m having very vivid dreams every night. Journaling immediately when I awake gives me great insight.

Sweet dreams!

Namaste 🙏

astrology, consciousness, psychic, spiritual awakening, kundalini

Saturn and Pluto the duo of transformation and accountability

Pluto is the furthest planet away from the sun. It takes Pluto 248 years to rotate around the Sun. Pluto in astrology is the planet of death and rebirth. Phoenix rising. In Roman mythology, Pluto is the God of Hades or the underworld. Pluto rules Scorpio in astrology. Pluto is a metaphysical planet. It is responsible for human evolution, power, crisis, elimination, viruses, death, natural disasters, rebirth, metamorphosis and the unconscious. Pluto is the planet known for evolutionary change in astrology.

Pluto spends 14 to 30 years in each sign which is the longest amount of time any planet hangs out out in a sign. Death and rebirth is no small feat. If you follow Pluto throughout history in each sign major destruction as well as transformation has happened according to the planet or sign it is in.

Pluto entered Capricorn in 2008 and will stay until 2024. Saturn is the ruling planet of Capricorn. Practicality. Saturn is the symbol for human beings that have learned all the hard lessons on this earth and are ready to transcend. Saturn brings about a sense of duty and responsibility to our lives. Saturn is the lord of karma.

A Pluto- Saturn cycle will be about consciousness of societal structures. Learning about responsible use of power. This cycle will dismantle long standing administrative powers, systems of beliefs to move on and evolve in our societies. This can look like wars, power struggles. This duo of planets will make us responsible for the destruction we have created. We have watched since 2008 movements rise. Black lives matter, Earth First, LGBTQ rights, Me Too, are just a few. Now we are dealing with a world wide virus. Donald Trump is our President. We see dictators ruling across the globe. It all seems aligned for us to understand that this a great time of change for us as a society.

It’s an amazing and really difficult time to be alive. The solar system is not separate from us. Personally, I have Scorpio as my rising or ascendent sign. Pluto has destroyed and transformed my life and continues to teach me. My ability to be psychic and clairvoyant is from Pluto. My love to do horror makeup is from Pluto. I am grateful for Pluto in my charts. I’m so glad to be part of this social change, to be an activist, understand that we are all connected to each other and the solar system.

Namaste 🙏

consciousness, covid 19, evolving, love, moving, change, music

Just to be

Just to be. I’m really learning this lesson as we go through quarantine. I’m completely alone during this time. In an unfamiliar State. I moved to Vermont from Colorado a month ago today, right before the shelter in place happened in Colorado with my now ex partner. We had lost our jobs and our place to live,not having jobs, all at the same time because of the Covid 19 virus in Colorado. We moved to Vermont to live with his father. I became very ill arriving from Denver, his dad was concerned I had the virus. He called doctors and they said no tests were available, he became relentless in his fear. I didn’t have a fever or many of the symptoms of Covid 19 in my illness. I was hospitalized, not having many tests available for Covid 19, they checked all my symptoms, x- rayed my lungs and decided I was okay, however I was now homeless. I am grateful that I had a social worker from the hospital who was able to help me get a room at a motel. I have food and shelter till May 15th paid for. Due to the virus every homeless person is being cared for this way in the very small town I am.

So much unknown right now. I should have all this fear but I don’t. The Universe constantly takes care of me. Last night I was watching YouTube on a specific subject on my laptop and fell asleep. I awoke in the middle of the night to the most beautiful music I have ever heard in my life playing from my laptop. It was 528 HZ music. I immediately searched google for this frequency playing. A frequency I have never researched or sought before this moment in time. The frequency of love, nature, chlorophyll and heals our DNA. This frequency was used by John Lennon for the song Imagine. This frequency was also used for four hours on the ocean when there was an oil spill in the ocean. The ocean life was able to return following those four hours. This frequency is not limited to Earth, scientists at NASA have discovered that through recordings of the sun, 528 HZ frequency is what aligned with their tuning fork. Tears just fell from me as I read what this frequency was that just appeared playing.

I have learned to be grateful for every morsel of food I put in my mouth. I am grateful for shelter from the cold. Truly what else do I really need physically? The things we think we need versus what we actually need are very different. I feel I’ve struggled with doing, even being a spiritual person. What’s next? Just to know I have value doing nothing. Just being in existence as a human. No agendas. No plans. Nothing but time and space and that being enough.

I’ve spent my days meditating, reading, writing, talking to my family in Colorado and doing art as much as possible. I’m full, I have found in this place, just to be. I’m provided for in what I really need and I find gratitude in that. I’m finding gratitude for this experience because I know I’m better off than some people, having what I do have. It isn’t what I’m used too but it’s made me see my privilege in life. It’s made me see my worth to just be and not do.

Namaste 🙏

consciousness, covid19, evolving

New Beginnings

Today I’m removing my robe for the first time in a while, to participate in a zoom conversation for parents with NYU for my child. I can’t help but consider that there are questions that can’t be answered in this time.

As we live in this new time of quarantine, social distancing and technology is how we communicate, how will this virus change us as a society? When the virus is over we will touch each other again? When the virus is over do we want the lives we had previously? This is a time given to really make that decision.

As a society previous to the virus we lived for our work. We were exhausted as a whole living off Venti lattes to get us through the day. We did this to live in a home, pay our bills, take care of our children, partners and consume whatever it was that pleased us. Many of us rarely saw our families or our partners because of working. Now we are forced to spend time with our loved ones. Now we are faced with time. Many of us have lost our jobs and income. Where does that leave us?

Gaia has been choking on our fumes, the earth has been in crisis with global warming and needing our help forever but who had time? We all do now. We are forced to stop. We hear wildlife chiming in with our collective chanting at certain times of the night. We see the planet healing with less cars, planes and consumerism. It took one virus to stop time and force us to care.

We have to cook more now as a whole. What are we eating? We can think about that now because we have time. We aren’t just on autopilot eating fast food non stop and surviving. This gives us time to think about what we are putting in our bodies.

I have read that many divorces will come following the virus. Maybe those are divorces that should have happened a long time ago but now the elephant in the room is being addressed. Now there is time to really look at the issues in relationships and decide if these are the humans we want to spend our futures with. Do we really have the same goals, wants and needs in the relationship?

This is a time of new beginnings if we allow it to change us. If we really consider what we are living for. We have so much time right now to make some epic decisions for the future for who we want to be. We are not human doings, we are human beings.

Namaste 🙏

Gun Violence, healing, high school shooting, high school shooting survivor

Arapahoe High School shooting the aftermath

Tomorrow marks six years since my daughter survived a high school shooting at Arapahoe High School Dec 13, 2013. I was reminded by a memory on Facebook this morning. That’s a positive thing that it doesn’t sting and burn into me the days preceding this date like it used to. We’ve come a long way since that day. If you would have told me six years ago today that my daughter would go through this experience the next day, there is no way I would have believed that. We lived in a safe suburb of Littleton, Colorado. Or so I thought.

I remember receiving a text message at work at my salon from my daughter the day of the shooting. It read, mom there is an active shooter in my school. The swat team is here and I am so fucking scared. My heart went into my throat. I felt so helpless. I replied, I love you so much. Keep your body down on the ground. Can you imagine advising your child through this? My client had color processing on her hair while all this was happening. I heard from my daughter before this hit the news or had information from school. I washed my clients color out of her hair. I was so thankful she was there. I was losing my mind and she helped me stay in the moment and figure out a plan. When I read that text message from my daughter time stopped. My brain was not working at all. I ran to my car to get to the school.

When I arrived at the school it was chaos. Swat teams and police were flooding the high school. I was trying to connect with my daughters dad to meet him and he was losing his mind in panic and fear. It took us two hours to finally meet at the church because we had to park so far away from the school. We found out we had to go to a church across the street and wait for our kids to arrive on a bus from school as they swept the school room by room. I was hugging all my friends who had children in the shooting when we congregated at the church to wait for them. I was one of the lucky ones who had heard from my child and knew she was alive. She had her cell phone. Many of my friends’ children didn’t have their phones. The energy at the church held so much fear. Five hours later I was holding my child with a grip I didn’t know I had.

My house that weekend had kids non stop coming together to help each other through the madness we all felt. Jim Gaffigan, the comedian, played non stop from our television. I had so much food which no one ate. They laid on my couches, colored, talking and crying. Trying to process the shooting comes in so many phases.

Personally my anger was unappeasable. I wrote my heart out trying to understand how this could ever happen. I punched my punching bag to the point that I hurt my hands. My anger was that the shooter had red flags prior to this shooting. My anger was that an 18 year old who is enrolled in high school can buy bullets on a school day and the school isn’t notified.

The sad thing is my family is a statistic now. The gap is narrowing on how many families just like mine will experience or worse lose their child in a high school shooting. It’s taken EMDR trauma and Reiki therapy to help me truly heal from this experience.

My daughter however experiences nightmares still from ptsd from the shooting. At her college she attends, she is supposed to be given warnings when shooting drills are happening so she doesn’t have to be surprised and experience ptsd. Sometimes the warning fails and she does experience that. She lost two friends to suicide because of the shooting. That’s something that isn’t talked about much, but suicide is rampant following surviving a shooting. She has had to process that and her grandfather’s suicide five months following the shooting. Six years afterwards a lot of the kids that survived that are not doing well. She is in EMDR trauma therapy and has been in different kinds of therapy. It’s a long process of healing but everyday she moves forward. I am grateful that victims compensation pays for therapy for life for my daughter. As a family we are given secondary trauma limited compensation from victims compensation.

I’m not mad anymore, just triggered every time there is a shooting because this does not need to happen anymore. When the Parkland shooting happened and the children stood up, that’s when I felt hope for the first time. They are our future. If they aren’t going to be protected, they are going to protect themselves and change gun laws. It’s time. I don’t wish this experience on anyone. My hope is that gun laws will change. My hope is that we are evolving as humanity and this will not be tolerated in the new world that is being created by our youth.

Namaste 🙏


Anahata Heart Chakra Healing

The Heart Chakra Anahata is green in color and our fourth chakra.

It is our identity center.

We manifest in our lives what we believe. That is the true law of attraction. It is not thoughts we are manifesting, our thoughts support our belief system, it is what we believe about ourselves.

Healing the Heart Chakra is so important. Crystals that support the Heart Chakra are malachite, symbolizing the lush and verdant hues of nature in full bloom, green is more than just the color of money. It’s also the color of personal growth and abundance of the spirit. With the wisdom of the Malachite crystal, progress isn’t measured in material riches but with spiritual treasures found deep within the heart. But this enchanting stone also has a practical side. The Malachite meaning brings us a lesson in sustainability to help keep the good vibes going strong and steady..

Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love.  It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love.  Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace.  Calming and reassuring, it helps to comfort in times of grief.  Rose Quartz dispels negativity and protects against environmental pollution, replacing it with loving vibes.  It encourages self forgiveness and acceptance invoking self trust and self worth.

Getting necklaces to be worn around the Heart Chakra in these stones help while you are healing that Chakra Center.

Listening to 432 hertz music specific to Heart Chakra Or binaural beats meditating and releasing.

Get body energy work done specific to Heart Chakra, Reiki.

Getting energy cords cut by a Shaman.

Wearing green.

Painting your toenails or fingernails green.

Coloring your hair green. Getting green lowlights.

Painting or coloring in green.

Burning green candles.

Meditating and allowing the pain to come up in the Heart Chakra. Crying and releasing fear and pain from this center.

Releasing old believes to really become who you are. When we do this we are able to practice the law of attraction because our belief about self changes to manifest the healing.

Namaste 🙏