consciousness

Anahata Heart Chakra Healing

The Heart Chakra Anahata is green in color and our fourth chakra.

It is our identity center.

We manifest in our lives what we believe. That is the true law of attraction. It is not thoughts we are manifesting, our thoughts support our belief system, it is what we believe about ourselves.

Healing the Heart Chakra is so important. Crystals that support the Heart Chakra are malachite, symbolizing the lush and verdant hues of nature in full bloom, green is more than just the color of money. It’s also the color of personal growth and abundance of the spirit. With the wisdom of the Malachite crystal, progress isn’t measured in material riches but with spiritual treasures found deep within the heart. But this enchanting stone also has a practical side. The Malachite meaning brings us a lesson in sustainability to help keep the good vibes going strong and steady..

Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love.  It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love.  Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace.  Calming and reassuring, it helps to comfort in times of grief.  Rose Quartz dispels negativity and protects against environmental pollution, replacing it with loving vibes.  It encourages self forgiveness and acceptance invoking self trust and self worth.

Getting necklaces to be worn around the Heart Chakra in these stones help while you are healing that Chakra Center.

Listening to 432 hertz music specific to Heart Chakra Or binaural beats meditating and releasing.

Get body energy work done specific to Heart Chakra, Reiki.

Getting energy cords cut by a Shaman.

Wearing green.

Painting your toenails or fingernails green.

Coloring your hair green. Getting green lowlights.

Painting or coloring in green.

Burning green candles.

Meditating and allowing the pain to come up in the Heart Chakra. Crying and releasing fear and pain from this center.

Releasing old believes to really become who you are. When we do this we are able to practice the law of attraction because our belief about self changes to manifest the healing.

Namaste 🙏

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consciousness

Heaven or Las Vegas

It’s that time of the night when finally alone. It’s my sacred space.

My very alone place that is nirvana to me.

The day is over.

So much happens in a day, it amazes me. All the good, bad, funny, dysfunctional moments a day holds.

I’m truly learning to live in the moment I am experiencing. It shuts down the exterior chatter and inner constant dialogue.

This human experience is so much learning, growing though our pain.

Understanding the lesson we just went through.

Learning not to judge the crap out of yourself or the situation but really trying to understand what that brought into your life.

What wisdom will shine down from this wall I just walked into?

Sometimes we feel knocked out by what we just went through. Why does that happen? Why are we shocked?

Sometimes we don’t understand right away. Sometimes we just listen because our bodies are screaming or we feel dread throughout our soul and we let go of that person, job, situation in believe of ourselves, not truly understanding.

Oh but time sweet time shows us exactly what that was all about.

We need every single experience we are having to shape and form us exactly.

Especially those hellish life experiences that you questioned seriously living through.

Those teachers are fierce task masters that get our shit straight.

Those teach us the light and dark is never separate.

We only find the light in the burning of hell we are walking through.

It teaches us what is really important in life.

And as much as we want to run from these teachers, I now sit at their feet knowing they are who created the person I call, me.

Namaste 🙏

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abortion, war on women, abortion bans, feminine energy

Things that make you go hmmmm

With these abortion ban laws, where is the laws that are pro- life after they exit the womb?

Where is the laws of provision for these children and their mother’s?

Welfare, food stamps, poverty?

Is the government planning to put in place new laws of provision and funding with these bans?

How about trauma care when you are raped and forced to have that child as a child?

How about trauma care being raped and forced to have that child as an adult, that is not a consensual decision?

Is rape or incest considered trauma under these new laws?

Is this going to change our society that this is standard, acceptable behavior? Rape and incest no longer trauma? The punishment for abortion is more extreme than the rape. It’s fine now to rape? That seems to be going on.

How is an 11 or 12 year old to care for a child? Give the child to the man who raped her? That’s actually going on.

Incest?

Seriously?

That causes birth defects factually.

I can’t imagine the psychological/ emotional damage that causes.

We need to critically think right now and ask ourselves these questions as a society, with facts being erased in our current government.

Life matters not only in the womb but when it exists as a living life on this planet.

That is why I am pro-choice.

A mother knows that life is her responsibility and makes choices knowing that affects her child for life, not just in the womb.

There is not the same laws with accountability for sperm.

Only our uterus decided by a group of all white men.

That is a fact, a current reality!

Can you imagine if there was a panel of all white women or even an all female panel, making laws on men’s sperm and accountability for all the children they are responsible for?

Where are the laws that hold men accountable for that life the minute it is conceived, like the women that are this extreme?

It takes both to create life.

Child support enforcement is a joke and a crisis. It’s why welfare is off the charts, a lot of men don’t pay for their children, multiple children, it’s the children that suffer.

These are all reasons to critically understand the control the government is trying to have over women, they are not protecting our children after exiting the womb or holding men accountable on this level.

It’s a patriarchal move to stay in power over women.

It has nothing to do with protecting life.

It has the ability to change our society to a dystopian society of female oppression quickly, it’s time to really think critically and act as females.

These are the warning signs and about to be a current reality for some women in America.

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abortion, war on women, abortion bans, feminine energy

The war on women

With the war on women, I decided I will share my abortion story.

I have three children I have given life to. They are now 26, 20, 18 years old.

I became pregnant four years ago at age 41.

My now ex domestic partner and I had just met.

He had just finished chemotherapy for a brain tumor he had removed, he also had sinus surgery and was on medications for that.

I was taking anti depressants.

We were told by every physician our child would be severely deformed because of the chemotherapy medications, everything above and our age. Every single doctor recommended we terminate the pregnancy.

We also didn’t want a child at our age or have a child in our circumstances.

My youngest child was 14 years old when this happened.

My granddaughter was almost 1 year old.

We weren’t even sure we would stay together at that point in our relationship. That pregnancy was not something I was willing to be tied to him at that point in our relationship not really knowing him. Especially a special needs child who requires major care.

I found out I was pregnant at seven weeks along.

The doctor suggested I have a abortion procedure because it would hurt me physically when I gave birth. I had given birth to three children so my uterus was large.

I did not care if it hurt me physically.

I decided not to have the procedure and take the pill to make my body miscarry.

I felt it wouldn’t hurt my child as much and I knew how to give birth. That was the peace I needed for me.

I gave birth to my son Christian in my bathtub at home. We named and buried him in a tiny sleeping bag surrounded in jewels. Beautiful flowers are planted all around him.

My ex domestic partner immediately got a vasectomy following this decision. We felt responsible and were not going through that again.

My doctor spent a long time talking to us about birth control at my follow up appointment.

I want people to understand there is responsibility on the doctors to talk about birth control to never being in that situation again.

I feel abortion doctors are painted as killers with no empathy.

That is not true.

I am thankful I had that choice. Under the new abortion laws coming in, I don’t know if I would qualify to make that decision.

I am really grateful because I didn’t end up with my ex domestic partner.

I feel it created a trauma bond between us.

I spent eight months in EMDR trauma therapy, it was there I was able to put Christian to rest.

Today I belong to a group of women in Colorado that houses, transports, support women from other states through safe, legal abortions in Colorado due to these restrictions. We are women – Colorado @Facebook, if you need help!

https://www.facebook.com/wearewomenco/

We have come way to far to go back!

We must help our sisters! We need to unite as females! We are warriors in our feminine energy! Watch us rise!🔥

Namaste🙏

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evolving, grief, healing, Reiki, suicide, suicide survivor

Year 5

Five years ago about this time of day my dad took his life. He used a snake bullet and a 1911 handgun to finalize his time on earth. He was a Army lieutenant, he knew what he was doing.

That was much of the reason for his death, his experience in Vietnam.

My counselor I was working with at the time of my dad’s suicide told me to go to the mortuary and see him. He told me it would bring closure quicker. It did. They did everything they could to make his face presentable, I remember but not in horrifying detail.

Suicide is sudden so it’s hard to accept. No goodbyes, it’s over. My counselor’s intention was to get me out of shock and denial in my grief.

I remember our last phone call the most the day before his suicide. I struggled feeling guilt during bargaining stage of grief, because I was so busy with my kids and our nightmare we were in, I just didn’t hear him.

I didn’t hear him cry out.

Every year has gotten better. However, I’m really struggling with it today.

Depression.

I’m sad because I see the reality of his situation in hindsight.

I’ve given my thoughts constant Reiki about his suicide all day.

Today I give myself permission to eat shitty and watch something binge worthy.

Everything I had to accomplish today is done.

I actually did something. I give myself credit for that.

I miss my dad. He was my mom too. He was my support system.

I’m glad he isn’t struggling anymore.

I feel all kinds of feelings but I just need to be alone and comfort myself through this moment.

I’m grateful I can be alone and just grieve, not define but allow.

I don’t want to talk to a soul and I don’t want to talk about it. That’s a new place for me.

I usually want to be around someone and I want support or I stay busy. Not this year.

I’ve worked through my anger about it. That felt like it took forever in that stage of grief.

I think I teeter on depression and acceptance at this stage of grief around his suicide.

I write this in hope that next year maybe full acceptance.

I write this because I am better.

I write this in total acceptance of where I am on this journey with being a suicide survivor.

Year 5.

Namaste 🙏

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consciousness, spiritual awakening, kundalini

The Divine Feminine

Last March 2018 I had a Kundalini awakening. It was female energy, it was bliss beyond anything I have experienced on this earth.

I’ve been interacting intentionally with my divine feminine.

What I’ve noticed is, in my anger I’ve taken on the toxic masculine energy I’m angry about in men. In my fear I also have taken on that masculine energy.

My divine feminine is protective but not fearful. She is wise in her intentions, delivery and composure.

She knows who she is.

She is fearless and loving.

That fearlessness does not take on the attributes of male energy.

She stays in her powerful place knowing love conquers all in her feminine divine.

Boundaries are her middle name without raging or personalization.

She is in flow with energy.

Sometimes backing away and sometimes leaning in.

It is her belief that she is.

Nothing to prove.

She radiates strength and beauty.

Her intuition is her guiding voice knowing no separation from source.

She is.

She is who I run too when I’m hurt.

She is who wipes away my tears.

I no longer need to scream because I know I’m loved and protected by her.

My defense is her.

She is powerful in all her femininity.

She embraces her vulnerability and nurturing to her core yet is bulletproof.

Yet never never needs to scream to get that validation.

She is humble and righteous.

Her beauty is cellular within me.

She is my reflection.

She is so strong and fierce to her core that she needs no defense for love drives her.

She gives birth everywhere around the world in every circumstance.

She is strong.

She is powerful.

She is life giver.

She is.

In complete pain she bares this soul, growing it cellularly and then feeds this life the perfect food only grown by her.

Connection is her last name through that experience.

She is who I want to reflect in my feminism. Not the male energy masquerading as female energy in my fear and anger.

She is the right brain of creativity.

Every decision for the good of all.

She is wise in her battles and walks away in grace and gratitude holding her intuition high.

Her example is what drives her.

I will embrace her, that is who I am.

She is.

I am.

Namaste 🙏

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