Exhaustion smells, looks and tastes bad. I am so freaking tired. Emotionally I feel like a tilt a whirl ride at an amusement park. I think this is the least amount of time I have ever spent on my appearance, I grab clothing out of the closet as fast as I can, to run out the door for the day for endless amounts of errands. UGH! I feel like I look like the women I judge at the store for not trying. I AM SORRY LADIES, FOR JUDGING YOU! I have never considered your life might suck on levels ,that the fact that you are dressed and at the store ,requires cheerleaders, awarding medals for being in public, with the mental and emotional hot mess you walk around in . Or you don’t give a shit and that is cool with me, I am getting there myself. Or you have figured out men are into natural looking women.
Hubby and I leave Friday morning for Belize to celebrate my 40th birthday. To answer the question ,I am frequently asked ;” how do you get out of bed?” Currently, Belize ,is why I rise to the sunshine, not really sunshine ,but a small flicker of light coming from a basement window, hubby and I are sleeping under, on a full size futon. I know, be jealous.
Turning 40 is a trip. I am in total denial I will be this age. All my high school friends are turning 40 on Facebook, that was yesterday in my mind. This life goes so fast!
It’s not looking promising to write on my blog during my stay in Belize. Being the super cute third world country it is, WiFi and Internet are not always stable. My hubby and I have never vacationed together in our 16 year marriage. We are so excited to be alone and relax. But we also feel nervous because of the recent and frequent traumas and naturally feeling like we might crash on an island like, LOST, the t.v. series. The good news is I have been hit on more looking like crap, that is perfect for island living.
Lesson 1,098: when you feel anxiety you are living in the future. When you feel depressed you are living in the past. Life goes on. Live in the moment, shit works out the way it supposed too. LET GO AND LET GOD!