A friend put up a link to’ Positive Writer’ on Facebook. Wow! I highly recommend checking out this website and his writing advice. I would not even cap it at writing advice, it seemed it was a lense of a way to process life and is extremely motivational.
His writing advice about blogging was to be specific about your blog and to let readers know what your blog is about and what to expect from your blog. This is ,if you want to build an audience of readers that commit to your blog.
He is writing from a perspective of failure, which is where growth seems to seed, that is his point. This writer experienced a failed blog of randomness for it’s content. I find myself guilty of that randomness on my blog. He discovered and encourages being specific about what you are writing about, a genre or theme.
There is no way I could stick to one theme. I am a Gemini, I bounce around, it is a curse that I embrace as my gift. Living in paradoxes is my thing. However, I did take from his advice that if you are someone who needs randomness ,to pick a theme around the randomness. I can do that and will explain that.
My counselor recommended writing to heal, he kept bringing up to me in session ,how much I seem to care what people thought of me, he said,” writing will help you not care so much”, it is so true. My blog has been about epic trauma my family has gone through the last 6 months. My middle daughter being in a high school shooting, my son being diagnosed with diabetes type 1 three days after the shooting, my oldest daughter finding out she was pregnant, my dad committed suicide and my mom getting into a head on collision, breaking her sternum and six ribs, a week after dad taking his life. The emotional states that I vacillate between despair, hopelessness and the growth that I can have through these experiances if I can get through all the noise. This blog of mine is highly emotional, and all about healing. Whether I am posting music videos that pierces my soul, photos of my garden, which is also therapy,or writing. That Is what you can expect from my blog. I know many of my readers are friends and family and that is enough for me. I am not trying to build my blog but share life through it.
Yesterday, was a perfect example of high emotions on my blog through music. I spent much of the day blasting music ,driving around doing errands, crying, shouting from the top of my lungs. Thank God I have tinted black windows in my car, I can only imagine what I look like, loosing my mind. My state of mind was so fragile, everyone and everything pissed me off or made me cry. I kept hearing my counselor ‘ s voice in my head, ” if you feel crazy, look at what you are eating, drinking and how much sleep and exercise you are having and doing.” I can tell you I have not been taking care of myself. Not sleeping, not eating or drinking much. So; this blog is a witness to how self care matters when your life is blowing up.
I managed to go in line skating with my son and his friend after freaking out the whole day. I ate a huge bowl of fruit and hydrated last night. I called my best friend and we ranted back and forth. I put my phone in another room and put myself in bed at 10pm with a Nicolas sparks novel and fell into a bliss of words that lulled me to sleep, cuddling with my little girl Sophia, my Italian greyhound. I wrapped myself and Sophia in a blanket made for my daughter after the shooting, made of the softest fleece. I took my sleeping pills and got 8 hours of sleep last night. I will tell you , I feel like a different human today.
Part of self care is meeting as many of your physical senses needs as possible. The scent of a mango candle burning, the touch of the softness of a blanket, or the sensation of your hand as it strokes the fur of your beloved animal, the ease of mind lost in a book. Working out and feeling the stress leave your body with every movement you make. The sound of an instrument that strikes your soul. Meditation or yoga , worship, prayer to connect to your inner person and spiritual needs. We are spiritual beings having a human experience, if we forget that, it feels hopeless.
The hardest thing about self care is when things are hectic, busy, and ten million things seem to be flying at you, the exhaustion to do more seems overwhelming. Some days are terrible. The end. You get up and start over the next day in hopes that you find the silver lining. This is life. Everyone identifies with pain on some level or circumstances. It makes us human and relatable. Taking our trip to Belize even though the circumstances were the worst to leave under, was healing and needed. It brought hope again to my life. I need things to look forward too. Baby Copeland is what I am focusing on for our spiritual exchange of darkness to light. Meaning my dad leaving physically and Copeland ‘ s new life.
To sum this up; would be, to say that I am willing to be transparent in this time, that I myself, find difficult to exist and keep going in. It is the eating an elephant scenerio, bite by bite, day by day, even sometimes moment to moment. The goal is one foot in front of the other, fall down, cry, get up. Write your story, share it some way. You are greater than you can possibly imagine if you get rid of the inner critic /perfectionist that feeds the lies that some how perfection can be achieved ,that will end your happiness and your ability to create your individuality.