I was given this grieving doll by my aunt , after her brother, my dad, passed on.
The doll has no face. Grief is wrapped in many expressions on a person’s face. It is perfect to be honest, that it is made this way.
Some days you feel fine, some days there are tears that feel won’t end. Some days the happiness returns and there is a smile.
The guilt is always accompanied like a bow striking a chord in g minor on a cello. The sound hits your soul, that internal pain that shoots through you, I wish I had done more.
We are for the most part in the bargaining phase of grief. That is the part where you think endlessly about how you could have saved that person who is gone. What you could have said or spent more time with them.
Permanence seems unpalatable. That is why we go through the grief process. Next on the agenda is depression, followed by acceptance. However, this process is like a roller-coaster and not orderly. Sometimes in one day you will experience the entire grief process;
1. Denial, a coping method to keep going.
I am realizing that you don’t get over death. You learn to live with the hole that is there. Maybe, your heart becomes like a patchwork quilt over time. Torn and repaired with stitches of life’s experiences.
I am changed because of my dad’s suicide and all the epic events with my children preceding his death. Pettiness is highlighted. Relationships matter.
Today I am grateful for the perspective that death has brought to me. What really matters in life. People!
The doll’s face today is tranquil and with a soft smile.
Life is precious, words matter, touch is essential to our beings. You leave imprints everywhere you go.
One love, one life, let’s get together and we’ll be alright. Bob Marley