Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite

Did you ever say this to someone?  My parents said this to me before bed often. This was way before I had knowledge of actual bedbugs being real.

This is not about bedbugs.  I have insomnia.  I fall asleep but I don’t stay asleep. This has been going on for four years.

Yesterday,  I went to the doctor for this problem.  It is not the first time. I have anxiety and I have a lot of tools that help me manage anxiety while in a conscious state. I work out daily and have changed my diet in attempt to help with this.

I have used several medications to help with this issue. The doctor put me on a new medication yesterday.
I didn’t wake up last night for the first time in months.

It is a great feeling to wake up and not feel hung over from tiredness.  It usually takes me two hours to function in the morning and several cups of coffee. This is mostly mental tiredness.  Like a haze, I have to break through.

The older I get I see my tendency to be genetically wired like my mom. In many ways I am like her. She has struggled with sleeping for a long time. She has been on sleeping pills for twenty years. She has always liked her pills and never questions her doctor about what she is taking and why.

I am different in that, I don’t want  to be on medication forever.  That is the frustration for me. I have tried everything natural. I force myself to physically be tired. I am in therapy to help with anxiety.  But in the end I am back on medicine. 

My hope is that if my body and mind get into a habit of not waking up during the night, I may be able to get off medication. 

Anxiety has plagued my entire family.  I wonder sometimes  how long that genetic code has been passed down from my ancestors.

I believe that most issues people have are chemical.  That is why there are so many addictions. Whatever poison you pick is giving you something you need. It may also give you problems but you are not crazy in your addiction.

Holistic doctors will tell you this: health affects your mental state as well as physical. Some people who are off balance with blood sugars can become institutionalized and told they are bi polar. It is a huge problem.  If you only seek an answer to a symptom,  you will never find the problem. 

The American diet is so bad for you. People are starving to death in a land full of food. Anything processed is garbage for you.  In my home when I shop I buy fruits, vegetables and fish or chicken and tons of beans. My husband buys processed foods. There is balance there and we have to live with each other.My kids  are being taught both worlds. 

Sometimes even in a healthy diet, your body is not able to break down what is being eaten. That is where addictions come in to aide this process. Every addiction is tied to a chemical  deficiency.  For years it was said that addiction is a gene. The new dms 5 now reports that addiction is across the board, you can be any age, gender to have addiction.  If you were to be diagnosed with addiction it is done with how severe or mild that addiction affects your life, all persons have addiction.

Learning to eat a diet that supports even blood sugars is vital. Eating frequently,  six times a day, and eating foods that don’t spike or lower blood sugars.  It is a daunting task. We have been taught the three meals a day is where it is at. Most of what we have been taught about diet is wrong for maximum health.

There is knowledge and real life.  The combination is tricky to find the balance. I have health insurance that only covers my doctor appointments. I know if I want to reach my ultimate health goals,  I need to also bring in a holistic doctor. That is more money out of pocket I don’t have. It is truly the only way to find out what we are missing in our diet and finding the solution naturally.

For now sleep is imperative.  I will continue with the knowledge I do have. I will take medicine.  That will not be the end for me.  When I do have the extra money it will be put to use finding someone in the holistic field to help find the answer to my broken chemistry. 

I have been in therapy most of my life. I am beginning to realise that I may need to put that money towards my physical health. The tie to mental health I am starting to believe is finding the deficiency in our physical make-up.

Any thoughts on this subject? 


18 thoughts on “Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite

  1. I just want to say I hope that your body gets use to going to bed at a certain time and sleeping through the night and that your able to continue fixing your anxiety but also be able to get off the pills that you don’t really want to be on. I too suffer from insomnia but because one med that I am on I can’t take anything for it so I have to learn to live with it. Some nights I have no problems others times depending on what my day was like I’m up for 36 to 48 hours before I crash and crash I do for about 18 to 20 hours that part I don’t like because nothing gets done. Anyway I didn’t want to tell you my life story I just wanted to say if you want a sounded board I’m available and I’m cheaper than a shrink. LOL Take care my friend and I hope you start getting more sleep soon.
    Red Sox Lady 35

  2. Can try working out, probably cardio activities at day. When I was at my fittest in 2010, I worked out 3 to 5 times a week and usually sleep in exhaustion.
    Right now, I am sleeping close to 1am for the past few months due to a bad bout of emotional issues. Tossing and turning in bed are so typical every night.
    Wishing you well in staying asleep.

  3. I suffer from insomnia too. When I fall asleep it is usually because I can simply no longer stay awake and my body demands that I sleep. However, each and every time I wake in the night I remember it clearly. I am fully awake. I toss and I turn and it takes forever to get back to sleep. Most times I wake up wishing I hadn’t. Last night, even though I remember every position change in bed quite clearly (I can tell you where the cat was and where the dog was and what they were doing….) I woke up this morning feeling like I actually slept. I’m not sure when that sleeping really occurred. Somehow.. I need to figure out how to mimic that…….

  4. Very interesting, great information! My dad has always told me that addiction “runs in the family” and I need to be extra careful with my choices, but I made bad ones anyway (that’s how we really learn, right?). I deal with depression and anxiety and fought taking meds for years, but doing that actually made things worse. I hate being on meds, I agree with you that there are chemical deficiencies that cause such disorders, and the meds seem to balance things out. I would LOVE to reach a point in my life where I don’t need meds, maybe I will look into a holistic doctor someday as well when I can afford it. I hope you find the balance you are looking for! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Pingback: Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite | leftbraintendencies's Blog

  6. If you only seek an answer to a symptom, you will never find the problem.
    This is modern medicine at its worst. Anxiety is part chemical imbalance and part behavior. Non chemical things I do: I force myself to complete tasks and not be afraid of the effort. Completion strengthens validation and contentment reducing anxiety. I do the best job I can – I can do no more. I do what I can today and know there is tomorrow. Some things are within my control, some things are not. These give me a lot serenity and I don’t obsess and stay awake making myself nuts with replay of the same things. I key is that I do not evade matters that must be addressed. My meds do help but remember there is a difference between being addicted and just dependent upon for better mental and physical health. As a cardiac patient there are some meds I will take for the rest of my life . The mind’s chemical and electrical imbalances rarely correct themselves either and should be no negative feelings about using the meds.

    • Thanks for commenting. I agree with you about some medicine being needed for physical, and mental health. My son is diabetic and needs insulin. I understand that.
      I was stating I would like to explore thoroughly natural options before I accept that I need those medicines for life.
      I am thrilled I am sleeping right now.

  7. I have struggled with anxiety as well, and I know how easy it is to let it define you and control every move you make. I think changing your eating habits was a great step, it’s something I need to start doing myself. I definitely believe you need to keep your blood sugars level to maintain a little sanity. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes (it’s a temporary form or diabetes that goes away after the baby is born). I had to change my diet to stabilize my blood sugars throughout the day, and let me tell you, I felt better at 9 months pregnant than I ever felt before! I wish I had kept the diet up. Anyway, good luck in your journey, I hope you are sleeping better soon!

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