The only way I have ever learned anything is by going through it. I have never been one to learn by watching.
My life is surreal in that everything that we are trying to accomplish is difficult, just today alone we were told our home equity loan didn’t go through, our daughters knees are so bad she needs a wheelchair. We applied for health insurance in December and it still hasn’t gone through. Our family has never needed health insurance more after my son’s diagnosis of diabetes type 1 in december. Also, my husband is on medication for depression and his medication was 200 $. This is today’s news.
So, I think what is happening is I am being taught how I can respond to these situations. Most of my life pretty epic things have happened. Never all at one time but consecutively.
Most of the time i respond by freaking out and going into anxiety and depression. I feel I am going through all of this to learn to stop and retrain my brain to not do that. That response is killing me. I have a choice to be negative or not. The control I have is my response.
Learning to live daily and be present in every moment you are experiencing. Life slows down and becomes more manageable. The anxiety decreases. Every time something happens I have been able to say it could be worse, instead of going to heights of emotion that are not good for me.
I am tired of living in stress and negativity. I am thankful for these situations to teach me to slow down and be present, I think when it is said’ stop and smell the flowers’ is this concept that happiness is a choice. Life is hard and it will be okay and work out if I loose my mind or not. Being present in life is experiencing another person not thinking about anything but what is being said.
Life is what we make it. I so want to experience all the good that is going on with the bad, not just focusing on what is wrong, stopping to smell the flowers .