Everday is like a morning

Do you ever feel this way? Tired and exhausted  the whole day trying to break free of that sluggish feeling. The whole day feels like your morning. I got the flu a week ago and I am still physically dragging through my days. Everything feels epic you are doing. My gratitude list is swamped that I survived each situation. I am trying to be positive and talk myself through this process and give myself grace for not being 100%. 

While feeling this way physically the emotional piece of my current situation of becoming a grandmother in August.  I will be forty in june. I seriously feel myself having my mid life crisis began. I get it why people freak out at 40, a lot has happened at this point. You have been through a lot of adventures in your life. some good, some bad, some happy, some sad. I am trying to look at my situation different and not surround it with negativity or judgement. I am trying to not have expectations.  To speak with clarity into a situation of needs and wants. I know if I want to not have a crisis my mental health and ability to process through hard situations needs to come first. I can’t say my life is not what I thought at my age. That is expectations. 

Learning to live life not based on how I think things should be or comparing my life to other people. It is a new thought process for me to not think in black and white but to be open to the experience without judgment.  I think this is the path of letting go and no longer controlling. Expectations are where things go  south. It would seem like an easy concept but I have not lived life this way. It takes new thinking constantly to live in this thought that things are what they are and it will be okay no matter how much I analyze or plan or freak out. It will be calmer and less anxiety surrounding my life if I can just let go and trust that it will be okay. 

One new daily thought is being positive no matter the situation.  If someone is freaking out, I don’t have to return that energy. That person is not doing that personally to me. It is very difficult to do this because humans react. That ultimately is the control we have is how we respond in any situation. 


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