I am finding the older I get the more I am like my mother. I remember watching her eat potato chips and m&m’s as she watched t.v. growing up. I love those myself and tend to pick those as well. She also read variously as I do. The great debate of nature versus nurture has more studies than ever. A u.k. university has done studies on 800 sets of twins for this purpose. The results were nature had more influence in personality than environment which we have been told for a long time that nurture is how we turn out as individuals . In the area of self-control was found to be the biggest factor for this argument.’ The difference in people’s ability to restrain themselves and persist with things when they got difficult and react to challenges in a positive way’. This study also found nurture ‘affected their social and learning abilities and sense of purpose’.
I think about the greeting card I purchased for my sister that read your not getting older, just getting more like mom. She did not think that was funny. She also tends to follow my father’s genetics more than our mom’s. I see this in my own children. My daughter is so much like her dad in the same interests and talents they have. my son is a chip off my block, we walk around in the mornings with our fuzzy robes. We are outgoing introverts so that works out well for our relationship, in the mornings we both get up early but do not speak to each other just a head nod. We like our early morning alone time and respect that for each other.
What I do believe about nurture is that it affects our emotional state. I was never talked too as a child about emotions. My parents are still like that. I am different parenting in that I believe in being emotionally available. I believe in encouragement of my children. I believe in counseling if needed to process.
I am seeing how much nature is playing out in my own life. I also am aware of the personality traits I have inherited that I do not like. I am trying to be open to making different decisions with this traits. I find that if I am not defensive when I am told I am acting like my mom I can learn to embrace this and try to change my response. I realize I will have the same responses if I am not self aware and open to see the genetic train.
I love this topic and would love to hear your responses.